Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
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I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
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So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.