the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How