Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated