Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.