Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize