Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
