i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
