i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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