Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize