I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
