I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
