Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
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