Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
