Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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