Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
