All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dick very happy bro
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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