thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize