bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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