ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
