So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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