Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
