I hope mine doesn't look like that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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