I don't remember. Are we still dating?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
