She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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