Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
God, I missed his penis.
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