I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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