And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
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Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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