I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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