so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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