At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.