Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize