yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
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i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
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We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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