You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
