spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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