Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Im part way to drunk.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize