so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize