I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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