dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth