Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
