Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
