This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My dick has a subreddit
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey