I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Is this like a preordered booty call?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...