I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.