I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize