I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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