I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
