Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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