That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
