do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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