I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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