it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
