woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We have so much sex to catch up on
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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