Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me