anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.