you turned your livingroom into a bong?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.