Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.