you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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