idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
